Forgiveness

2.3

For me, forgiveness is an individual decision and I can't tell you the correct way to go in your journey.

On several occasions I had given my dad options. He could either stop his behavior and get help, or he would lose contact with us. We would walk away.

He made the choice to stalk my mom after their divorce, he made the choice to start calling her and saying things like, "Don't you remember you said I can call you?". She would tell him she didn't say that and he would tell her yes she did, again, manipulating her. He also made the choice to lie to family and coworkers a few months later trying to continue his control over her movements.

I have made the choice to accept the fact that my dad made the decision to walk away from his family, we didn't abandon him. He chose his actions and his behavior. He knew the consequences. I do not have plans to reconnect with him. I gave him a choice and he chose to walk away from us.

I don't feel bad about not having contact with him. He refered to me as "that one" because I didn't conform this his manipulation tactics. He's never tried to apologize for any of his actions. He feels no remorse.

For me, keeping in contact with him would show him that I accept his control and his actions. Neither of which is true. I choose to take my power back.

You have to decide what's right for you in your situation. It's your right to make the decision that is healthy for you. It's not up to others around you. They didn't go through what you went through. If you need help deciding, please talk to your therapist.